A short piece of prose just to shout out to the world 'I'm not dead' despite the amazing amount of time I can spend without moving.
I'm experimenting with using different hemispheres of my brain.
I hope you all enjoy, expect a few more short little pieces like this, and please - if you have the time - tell me what you think.
Critique for tWR: thewrittenrevolution.deviantar...
1. How did you find the 'voice' of the character? Was it too childish or laboured?
2. Did the whole piece flow from start to finish? I am concerned about the lines of description near the end. Do they interrupt?
3. Was it too repetitive?
4. Any spelling and/or grammar mistakes?